Day 16: Love More (or Less)

The heart is very tricky.  If you become a slave of your emotions, nothing will happen.  You will not get up in the morning because you don't FEEL like going to school, not study because you have to watch the TV series that you LOVE.

But the heart is not that all bad, you should have a balance and learn to control it, master it lest it controls you.

The time-of-the-month makes me all the more fickle.

Enjoy the trial and error

Day 15: Live in the now

Today, I regret about the wasted past and worry about the dreaded future.  A friend reminded me that I should be happy just where I am – this got me thinking that savouring the now makes me more open and aware of what’s happening around me, makes me act like a kid, eyes wide open for all surprises

 Supplies!

Day 9: What is Leadership?

Setting aside your own preference and letting each of your teammates shine.

Day 7: Genuine Gratitude

A change of scenery is what you need to appreciate your life more.  I am truly grateful for:

1)  My current job
2)  Our location in the province
3)  Cafeteria inside the office
4)  10-minute commute to & fro my dorm
5)  Cheap cost of living
6)  Vast career opportunities

I am seeing the world through the eyes of the mini-me :)

Day 6: Start Again with Day 1?

I am a builder by nature.  I want to perfect things starting from its foundation up.  And so when I feel that something goes wrong in the process, I let it be - I don't bother anymore then I start from scratch.  I remember a friend commented that when I was swimming the breast stroke, I was not covering any length!  I was literally staying put - super weird!  That's how I am with my not-so-perfect life

Day 3: My Love List (Spill Over from Yesterday)

1) Greet everybody
2) Positive thoughts about everybody
3) Simplify life

Day 2 (again): Good News

I got promoted :)

Day 2: Follow your heart

Close your eyes, breathe ... imagine your perfect world

Since day 1 is over, I am having this urge to go back to my old self.  But my old self cannot give me my future.

It's even Hearts' Day today :) 

Day 1: Remember your commitment

Recently, I have a commitment to love myself more - and for my family this would mean giving less for them.  I feel guilty most of the time and sometimes the feeling worsen when I hear my mom's pity monologue.  I hate myself for doing this to her that I always need to re-echo my resolution in my head.

Ingrate - I am ashamed to admit that I am every time I question my resolution and it all boils down to "if only I had more....I can provide more for myself and not worry about my family"

But I have been working for 10 years now and it is always not enough even my income is bigger now

adamant result of the law

it is hard for humans to understand how this world works especially who to shower with great fortune.  and when you see other people shine, you couldn't just imagine how anybody could allow this man to excel when he is heartless. 

the law is inanimate so it does not favor a humanitarian over a criminal - sucks but true

hot and cold

The "structured" me would love to have plans set out but the "artist" in me would change it at the last minute and an inner battle would occur everyday.  How to mediate between these 2 parts of me is always an ordeal because not one is greater than the other.  I am still learning about the appropriate mix of heart and mind formula.  How then to combine the ideas coming from my rational mind and the gut feel from my irrational heart.

pinned down by emotions

I remembered Gokou this morning and for the first time I cried, turns out I was suppressing the sadness.  He's our Jap Spitz who passed away last year.

Same is true with my mom - she is bedridden for 7 years now and whenever I pass by the hospital where she was operated, I would cry.

Change knocks you out of your balance and the negative emotion will justify why you're still there on the ground - still beaten after all these years. 

thou shall not budge

Make peace with everyone, make peace with yourself

Resolve want you really want and persevere to achieve it.  The Lord wants you to succeed, you are destined for greatness.  He believes in you, believe in yourself more.

my weakness is my strength

I have been having doubts over the weekend about my abilities to push through my goals and so I did nothing.  Done nothing and achieved nothing - and in nothing shall I hide my emptiness.  I know what I want and I know the solution, it is this emotion that makes me "feel" fear, self doubt and weariness.  I want to feel nothing, be focused and in control of my life - stop wandering behind someone's expectation, a shadow.

I will make the first step but please guide me to be consistent