pinned down by emotions

I remembered Gokou this morning and for the first time I cried, turns out I was suppressing the sadness.  He's our Jap Spitz who passed away last year.

Same is true with my mom - she is bedridden for 7 years now and whenever I pass by the hospital where she was operated, I would cry.

Change knocks you out of your balance and the negative emotion will justify why you're still there on the ground - still beaten after all these years.